on my knees

here
i adjust
i find the moment
grasping for anything
i refuse to open my eyes
i feel the fear inside
it is
suffocating
leaving me numb
in the grey
before me
i see the person
i have become
i acknowledge
the road travelled
and those i stumbled across
those that hurt
pushed me low
those who questioned
and where i could no longer go on
those that stood beside me
to keep me safe
from myself
from the games i played
the players i let go
in my most desperate hours
on my knees and broken
it was me that stayed the course
followed through
and accepted fate
for the hole i dug myself into
i built my own way out
blindly facing
head on
with compassion
and reverence
with gathered courage
and the ability to recognize
the person i was
drowning
into the abyss
of a disillusioned reality
for now i say with confidence
and incomparable truth
i am who i am
and present myself
dignity intact