agony

i delve into

this undefined

emotion

left

in absence

of where

here you

once were

its suffocation

this ache

undescribable

this pain

its prison

consuming

of me

in whole

and without

sweet relief

agony

i delve into

this undefined

emotion

left

in absence

of where

here you

once were

its suffocation

this ache

undescribable

this pain

its prison

consuming

of me

in whole

and without

sweet relief

where we lay

in pieces

scattered

within the narrow

in this space

amongst

the wilted

and the grey

under these leaves

which hang from

this tree

sifting through

this gentle humidity

this is where we lay

surrounded by the calm

this vacancy is filled

with controlled temptation

and withheld emotion

only here we allow this

this that which

we choose to deny

this of which

remains unspoken

where all lies

are lost

by where it is

most comfortable

most wanted

where the truth is stripped

laid out before us

this design

these pieces

a most unique

of self

found within self

of the other

un

i am unfounded

i sift

this unexplainable

searching

any solution

but most assuredly

the unattainable

this clarity

a truth i deny

and in its refusal

i missed

this most unexpected

to which has become

constant

for here and now

has revealed itself

long before

either knew

unaware

that self could exist

in a truth

without question

an unpredictable

equation

i cannot admit

that even I could

ever understand

in the unfolding

events

i processed

that which we allowed

to dissolve

into the nothingness

from the dilapidation

of mine own

untrusting self

within this ever-changing

wind of morrow

and i lift upon this

a slow and narrow climb

I go unannounced

in that

i have arrived

this rhythm

dare i say
move
to the flow
of that
which
surrounds me
ask it all
to play
some beat
drumming
in my mind
a constant
push
the drama
its power
overwhelming
all forms
of life
which changes
to the rhythm
of a most
extreme
self
dare i question
or make
assumption
forget where
i stand
amongst it all
for below
the lines written
between
the words said
lost within
the silence
of an unspoken
dialogue
i dare
thy self
the impossible
to make
the strings
of this unlikely
chorus
an imperfection
of faults
and arrogance
find solace
in the spectrum
that is
which
what we chose
to not recognize
a purpose
concluding
in a separation
of thought
miles from
truth
dare i allow
you inside
so i sift
the boundaries
we have set
get the logic
and know
we are
the reverberation
that keeps us
coming back for more

let it be mine

within this disease
of attacking thoughts
through my crowded mind
amoungst the voices
rambling out of turn
i hear you clearly
without speaking
you see inside me
though you cannot
comprehend
or even begin to unravel
the paths i designed
to escape the roads
i could not stay
its in this muddled energy
you feel truth
and now know
how i stripped of myself
and became no longer whole
all of me is written
printed and posted
all of me i kept hidden
the cure
this mental maddness
to expunge the emotion
deny the feeling
resist the punch
for my mind to let go of you
often i drift
to hold
this pain and anger
sealed in memory
i am not lost
nor misdirected
but steady and sure
i have gone the way
i know the idea
it is always been
and i am
so let it go
let it be mine
and don't judge me
that way

unto death

i know
and that makes it better
partly
i still am
and that makes it harder
whole-y
i have lived
days longer
than possible
i have seen
all that i have
come to know
most of which
i tried to understand
i have felt pain
both pleasurable
and unnerving
and have faced
a web of complexities
whose entanglement
has lasted my lifetime
alone
i have no recollection
events that have seen me by
or people that have passed
the threshold of goodbye
just this
a giant pause
which fills the space
consumes my thoughts
eating my time
for waste
an illusion
and sleep
the mind’s decay
this room
my tomb
littered with reminders
sits vacant
i met my match
and wisely chose
i deciphered codes
to lead me here
destroyed mine enemies
and challenged beyond
there is no history
none to conserve
what is to be remembered
will fade
with each passing mind
and the wrinkled pages
of the journey lost
recycled to a future
i can never
comprehend
for the pieces
this puzzle
i have fit so nicely into
have scattered now
each one
tiny energy
moving in random thought
exploding its life
upon those who will never know
for the ripple is constant
its motion the true
creator of life
for the cycle
the crossing of two
inanimate objects
its effect of me
on me
is me
and I, too
accept
and cease to be